Kuro-mean
by onoheiwa
Summary: Post-series. Kurogane asks Fai to help him purify a shrine and the mage takes the idea of purifying fire a little too far.
This is a prompt-fic, one brought on by a couple of writing/dialogue prompts found while browsing Pinterest. It's silly and stupid and probably not very good, but it was amusing to write.

Here are the prompts:

pin/242561129909687190/

pin/242561129909687094/

* * *

"Fai."

"Kuro-poo!" The magician rose from his crouch and bounded over to the larger man. "You're here! I was beginning to get concerned."

"Fai."

"When you didn't show up right away I started to worry that you might have been eaten but I should have known better. That dragon guardian wouldn't stand a chance against Kuro-strong." The magician began to wind himself around the swordsman's arm, smiling sweetly.

"Fai, what did you do?" Kurogane asked, staring at the chaotic mess of still-smoldering wood and stone.

"What do you mean?" Fai looked up at him, blinking slowly. "Oh, that? Well the spirit haunting the shrine wasn't very happy about me coming to visit and started to get a little temperamental. I had to use fire magic after all, to purify the talisman it was linked to."

"I thought I told you _not_ to set it on fire!"

Fai pouted dramatically. "But that was only if I could subdue the spirit and persuade it to move on to the afterlife peacefully! And if I couldn't then you told me to just purify it with holy fire!"

"Yes! A small fire! This was not a small fire!" Kurogane threw an arm out to gesture at the blasted remains of the shrine, reduced to splinters of wood and a stone foundation, a few tatters of singed cloth drifting lazily across the ground and some twisted and scorched incense bowls lying haphazardly in the grass.

Fai had the sense to look sheepish for a moment. "Technically it wasn't on fire," he said.

"Of course it wasn't on fire! You completely blew it up!"

"Well… yes… But the shrine is purified now so there won't be anymore danger to the priestess when she comes to pray!" The magician smiled brightly and Kurogane fought the urge to punch him.

The swordsman tamped down on the desire to shout, keeping his voice calm. "How can she come pray when there isn't anywhere _to_ pray?"

Fai finally turned around and looked at the pile embers, gaze slowly taking in the charred remains. "Umm…" He turned back around and looked up at the swordsman who simply stared on with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised in curiosity. Fai huffed and smiled again. "I'm really not sure I have an answer that will keep you from getting mad at me, Kuro-rin."

Kurogane continued to watch the magician steadily for a few more moments, enjoying watching the man begin to fidget under his steady gaze. Finally he let out a long breath through his nose, unwinding his arms as well and resting a hand on his sword hilt. "Well, at least the spirit is gone." Fai smiled broadly. "However…" he paused, watching in amusement as the smile wilted rapidly and large blue eyes looked up at him in fear. " _You_ will be rebuilding this. All of it. On your own and without magic. Maybe that will teach you to be a bit more careful, yes?"

"No magic?" Fai's protest was practically wailed, the magician slithering to the ground as if his bones had turned to liquid.

Kurogane grinned. "No magic. I would suggest you get started on it, too, we have to leave in a couple of days to report to Princess Tomoyo and this needs to be done before that since we'll be gone for a few weeks at least." The swordsman turned abruptly and headed back the way he had come. "Now, I'm going home."

"You're not leaving me out here all by myself, are you? Kuro-cruel, how could you?"

Kurogane could practically see the pout, bottom lip stuck out and shoulders drooped exaggeratedly. "I'll send someone out with tools to rebuild the shrine, as well as the stain and paint. And I'll have dinner waiting for you for when you get back."

"Kuro-mean is so mean, making me work so hard without even my magic to help. I'll be so lonely out here by myself all day long in this hot sun. And what about all the wild animals that could come after me…" The mage's mutters slowly faded away as Kurogane got farther away from the destroyed shrine. He was at the far edge of the clearing and almost back into the forest when he felt a blast of wind flip his cape over his head, obscuring his vision till he pushed it back down.

Kurogane just smiled and kept walking.


End file.
